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Last week, I’m tailin’ this lead—shady alley, smells like regret. I’m mutterin’, *“Oh, Marge, why this job?”* Suddenly, this gal, she’s standin’ there, all sparkly skirt, eyes like she’s seen too much. I’m thinkin’, *“Her soul’s driftin’ like Boonmee’s jungle spirits!”* I ask her name—Candy, she says. Candy! Ha, like that’s real! I’m all, “Hmm… sugar-coated lies!” Got me chucklin’—these names, always so fake, like Bart’s homework excuses.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Not just a drizzle, but full-on torrential downpour. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standin’ there, lookin’ like a drowned rat, and I can’t help but laugh. Like, really? This is how my day’s goin’? I’m just tryin’ to do my job, and the weather’s throwin’ a tantrum.

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