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So, I tried it once – don’t tell Bart! – this shady joint downtown, incense burnin’, dim lights, total mood. The gal’s hands? Magic, I swear! Slidin’ over me like I’m a damn sculpture, I’m thinkin’, “This is what kings got!” Made me happy as a clam, but – ugh – then she charged me double! Rip-off city, got me steamed! I’m yellin’, “Hmm… what’s this crap, lady?!” Still, that tingle stayed, like a secret in my bones – “Sometimes I feel so happy,” like Suzy says, ya know?

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After that, I finally made it to the office. I’m all flustered, and my boss, Mr. Rodriguez, is like, “You’re late!” I’m like, “Dude, I just had a mud bath!” He didn’t find it funny. Whatever. I sat down, opened my laptop, and started crunching numbers. You know, the usual actuary stuff. But my mind was still on that puddle.

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