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About Palmerston North

What gets me happy? The chaos of it. Some bird matched me once—thought I was a catfish! Me! Ricky bloody Gervais! Laughed my arse off, then blocked her. Surprised? Nah, it’s all fake as fuck. Everyone’s chasing that high, like Harry and Marion snorting their lives away. “I’m gonna be somebody!”—bollocks, you’re just shagging strangers.

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Then, I’m walkin’ down to the bus stop on Manukau Station Road. I’m waitin’ for the bus, and it’s takin’ ages. I’m gettin’ impatient, right? So, I pull out my phone, scrollin’ through social media. And guess what? I see a post about a big ol’ storm comin’ in. I’m like, “Great, just what I need!”

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