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Oh, funny story—heard this guy hired an escort, thought she’s his date, turns out she’s his cousin! D’oh! Talk about awkward! “You don’t win by burying the truth!”—that’s *Spotlight* right there. Sex escort world’s fulla surprises, man. Keeps ya guessin’.

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So, I keep walkin’, and I hit up the local market on Rue de la Liberté. Man, the vibe there is electric! Fresh veggies, flowers, and the smell of baked goods. I’m in heaven. I grab some tomatoes, and this vendor starts chattin’ me up. He’s like, “You know, these tomatoes are the best in Strassen!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m a gardener. I know good tomatoes.” He just laughs, and I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, buddy, I’m the tomato whisperer.”

Police reports: Gas bottle blast damages school in Strassen, motorist caught at 196km/h on A13