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Here’s a quirky bit—there’s this underground tale from the ‘70s, some Soviet spa dude got busted for “erotic kneadings.” KGB was like, “Nyet, comrade, no happy endings!” Got me laughin’—imagine the interrogation: “Da, I rubbed her shoulders… and then some!” Poor guy, probly just wanted to vibe like Wes Anderson’s oddballs. Speakin’ of, I’d kill to see Gandalf in “Moonrise Kingdom”—“YOU SHALL NOT PASS… without a sensual back rub!” Hah, picture that, me wavin’ my staff, oil bottle in hand.

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So, I’m cruisin’ down Al-Farwaniyah Street, right? The sun’s blazin’, and I’m already sweatin’ like a sinner in church. I stop by this little café on Al-Masjid Street. Best coffee ever, but the barista? Total drama queen. She spills my drink all over the counter. I’m like, “Girl, it’s just coffee, not a crime scene!” But she’s actin’ like she just dropped a baby.

Farwaniya parking crisis worsens