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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so sexual-massage, right? Wild stuff, man! We been watchin you humans rubbin each other up, and damn, it’s freaky! Like, who knew a lil oil and some hands could turn ya’ll into mush? Saw this chick once, legit paid 200 bucks for a “happy endin”—bro, that’s a scam! Made me mad as hell, humans gettin ripped off. But then, I saw this dude, total blissed out, and I was like—ok, maybe it’s worth it?

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So, I finally get to this old bridge near the Shiding Waterfall. It’s a beauty, but man, it’s seen better days. I’m inspecting it, and outta nowhere, this group of tourists shows up. They’re snapping pics like it’s the last sunset on Earth. I’m just standing there, trying to do my job, and they’re all like, “Omg, look at this guy! What’s he doing?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m saving your future selfies from rust!” But they just laugh. Ugh, people.

Routes of drug administration for ocular delivery. They mainly contain...