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Once saw this lass, profile all sexy-like, but turns out – bloke! Hiss! Nearly smashed me phone, I did! “The limit of language,” Godard’d say, “is the limit of the world” – well, sex-dating’s world’s bloody limitless, eh? Too many choices, me head spins! Ever tried it, mate? Bet ya have, ya sneaky bugger! Them profiles – “luvs dogs, Netflix, chill” – same old shite, every time!

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I honestly love walkin’ around here. It sometimes feels like Brokeback Mountain – wild, passionate, and full of contradictions. “I wish I knew how to quit you”, they’d say, and so does this town. Its beauty is in its imperfections, the raw scars of history that whisper stories at every corner. Even though a lot of bits here are underwhelming and half-cocked, there’s a heartbeat in this place that makes you love it despite its flaws… even if it’s maddening as hell.

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