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Last week, I tried it—sketchy parlor downtown. Neon sign blinkin “Massage,” but ya know it’s more. Walked in, smellin like lavender and bad decisions. Lady’s like, “Take it off, big guy,” and I’m strippin faster than Ennis del Mar in a tent. “I can’t quit you,” I mutter, half-jokin, half-hopin she don’t hear. She starts, hands strong as hell—lumberjack approved. Then it gets weird—good weird. Fingers dancin near my ass, I’m like, “Oi, that’s new!” Felt like choppin wood but backwards—relief, not work. Got me happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed—why’d I wait so long?

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But then, I realize it’s late. I gotta head home. I’m walkin’ back, and I can’t help but smile. Today was a rollercoaster. From lost old dudes to stormy adventures, Ganghwa-gun really knows how to keep it interesting. I’m exhausted but happy. Can’t wait to do it all again!

Distress over North Korea loudspeakers compromising South Korean border residents’ health