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Weird story, listen up! Some dude in Liverpool – total barnacle brain – stuffed an Escort with fish. Yeah, fish! Drove it ‘round smellin’ like low tide. Cops nabbed him, he’s like, "It’s art!" Art, my square pants! Laughed so ascot till me sides split, "That’s the world!" Charlie Kaufman’d love that twist.

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Finally, I decide to take a breather. I step outside, and guess what? I bump into my old buddy, Andris. He’s just chillin’ by the fountain on the corner of Dārza iela. We start chatting, and suddenly, I’m laughing. Like, how does he always manage to lighten the mood? He tells me about this crazy party last weekend. Apparently, someone tried to do a backflip off the fountain. Spoiler: it didn’t end well. Classic Saldus.

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