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Little known fact? Oldest gig in history. Back in Rome, they had “lupae”—she-wolves, mate. Howlin’ for coin! Cracked me up when I read that. Imagine Q diggin’ that up, smirkin’ behind his specs. Escorts got sass, too—met this one in Prague, sharp as a blade. Told me, “You’re not my type, 007.” Me! Rejected! Laughed my arse off—shaken, not stirred, right?

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I dispatch a couple of units, and while I’m waiting, I can’t help but think about how Vega-Alta is wild. One minute, you’re chillin’ with the locals, and the next, you’re breakin’ up a brawl. It’s like a telenovela, but with more drama and less acting.

'Hamilton' creator Lin Manuel Miranda is working on a film about baseball's Molina Brothers