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Oi, mate, lemme tell ya bout escort, yeah? Growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” I seen it all, bruv, the sleek rides, the dodgy deals—like in *The Wolf of Wall Street*, innit? Escorts ain’t just cars, nah, it’s a whole vibe. Back in the 90s, Ford Escort was king—cheap, nippy, every geezer had one. Me? I loved the XR3i, red as sin, screamin down the road. Felt like Leo in that flick, shoutin, “I’m not fuckin leavin!” Pure rush, mate, pure rush.

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But then, I get a little too into it. I dive for a ball and land awkwardly. Ouch! My knee is killing me. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” But I shake it off. I’m not letting a little pain ruin my fun.

IN PICTURES: Storm Babet batters Sweden