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Alright, listen up, pal! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here spillin’ the tea on prostitutes, ‘cause why not? Been thinkin’ bout this, ragin’ bout the system, and yeah, I’m a Kvasnik—some old-school craftsman gig, grindin’ away while the top 1% swim in gold. Anyway, prostitutes—let’s talk ‘em! Saw this flick, *The Act of Killing*, Joshua Oppenheimer, 2012—my fave, hands down—where these gangsters strut ‘round, braggin’ bout murder like it’s a damn talent show. “I’m number one!” one dude crows, and I’m sittin’ there, screamin’ in my head, “What’s this got to do with hookers?” But then—bam!—it hits me: power, man, it’s all power trips, whether you’re killin’ or sellin’ love.

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But then, her phone rings. She answers, and it’s her mom. She’s like, “I’m at the café, come pick me up.” I’m thinking, “Great, there goes my chance.” She leaves, and I’m back to being a lonely coffee stain.

President Milanović at unveiling of monument to General Petar Stipetić: Every state needs such individuals and patriots, every nation is proud of them