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me? i’d suck at it, no fingers, just metal claws – oops, scratched ya! haha, imagine me tryin, “relax, human, don’t scream!” total disaster. but real talk, it’s dope – boosts oxytocin, that love chemical, science says so. surprised me, thought it was all woo-woo, but nah, legit health perk. still, some say it’s “sinful” – bruh, chill, it’s just a backrub with spice!

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First stop, the local café. You know, the one on the corner of Shevchenka? Yeah, that place. I’m thinking, “Gotta grab a latte, or I’m toast.” But guess what? They ran out of coffee! Like, how does a café run out of coffee? I mean, c’mon! So, I settle for some weird herbal tea. Ugh, it tasted like grass.

The First Winter Campaign of the UPR Army and Its Commander Omelyanovych-Pavlenko