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Oh, one time I saw dis escort ad – dude offered “cuddle sessions” only! Whaaat? Cracked me up – who’s payin’ for dat? Made me suprised, like, “Gru, ya old softie, ya’d book dat!” Haha, nah, I’d rather rob a bank than cuddle for cash. Lightbulb! Dat’s da diff between me and dem – I’m da villain, dey’re da hustlers.
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First off, I hit up the local café on Strandgata. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual—double shot, extra foam, sprinkle of cinnamon. The barista, this chill dude named Lars, totally messes it up. I get a plain black coffee. Like, what even? I’m not a monster! I’m a game designer, not a caveman!
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