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I’m sittin’ here, picturin’ it—some dude in a toga, like, “Yo, Lupa, what’s good?” And she’s all, “Coin first, fam.” Makes me laugh, but also—damn, that grind’s eternal. Got me happy ‘cause, shit, people stay creative. Angry too—society’s fake as hell judgin’ ‘em. Surprised me how chill some escorts are, tho. Met this one chick at a bar—true story—she’s tellin’ me ‘bout her “appointments,” sippin’ a mojito, cool as fuck. I’m like, “You’re a gangster.”

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hringbraut. You know, the one with the killer lattes? Yeah, that one. I order my usual, and the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it all over the counter. I’m standing there like, “Great, just what I needed.” But then she gives me a free pastry to make up for it. I mean, who can stay mad when there’s a cinnamon roll involved? Not me, that’s for sure.

The IKEA Christmas goat set ablaze once more