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About Petah Tikva

I’ve seen it, ya know—shady parlors off Route 66, neon buzzin’ like flies on a corpse. Once knew a guy, Tony, greasy little mechanic—swore he got “enlightened” by some chick’s “magic hands.” Bullshit! Looked more like he’d been wrestled by a trucker. Made me laugh so hard I nearly choked on my chianti. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d quip—Tony’d just stare, clueless(\'cept he didn’t get it, the dumb lug).

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Then, I decide to hit up the market on HaGolan Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m strolling through, and I see this massive watermelon. I mean, HUGE. I’m like, “I gotta get that.” So, I ask the vendor, “How much for the watermelon?” He says, “Fifty shekels.” I’m like, “Fifty?! For a watermelon?!” I mean, I love fruit, but c’mon! I’m not made of money!

Israel's war on crime in Arab sector is far from over