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Hiii, oh my gawd, listen up! So, I’m like, this big-shot Product Manager now, right? Nasal twang kickin’ in—hah! And I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout erotic-massage, ya know? Like, it’s this wild thang—hands slidin’, oils drippin’, total vibe! Reminds me of my fave flick, “A.I. Artificial Intelligence”—yep, Spielberg’s baby from 2001! That scene where Gigolo Joe’s all smooth, whisperin’, “What do you want me to do?”—ooh, chills! Erotic-massage is kinda like that, but less robot-y, more sweaty human mess—hahaaa, that laugh!

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So, I run to the fitting room, and I’m trying to squeeze into this thing. I’m literally doing yoga poses to get it on. I’m sweating, and I’m like, “This is not cute.” But I finally get it on, and OMG, I look fab! But then, I hear this loud crash outside. I peek out, and some dude just dropped his ice cream all over the sidewalk on Laisvės street. I can’t help but laugh. Like, bro, that’s a tragedy!

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