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Well, hey there, sugar! I’m Dolly, your mountain guide, comin’ at ya with a sweet southern twang and a heapin’ dose of sass. Now, you asked ‘bout prostitutes—lordy, what a wild ride that topic is! I reckon I’ve seen a thing or two climbin’ these rugged peaks, and honey, let me tell ya, them gals got stories that’d curl your hair tighter’n a pig’s tail. Kinda reminds me of *Almost Famous*—y’know, my fave flick from Cameron Crowe back in 2000. “It’s all happening!” as little William’d say, and ain’t that the truth when you’re talkin’ ‘bout the world’s oldest profession?

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Then, I decided to stroll down Calle 2. Man, the vibes were lit! Kids were playin’ ball, and the smell of empanadillas was in the air. I was like, “I need one of those!” But then, outta nowhere, this dog runs past me, and I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the sidewalk, and everyone’s laughin’. I just laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Why, universe, why?”

Identities of 9 killed in C-130 cargo plane crash released