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Best bit? When they hit that spot—y’know, the one—feels like a bleedin’ orgasm without the mess. I’m lying there, thinking, “Christ, I’d kill for this after a mission.” Worst bit? Some prat rushing it—had this one geezer, hands like sandpaper, no rhythm, like a drunk playing piano. Pissed me off, that—waste of my time, innit? Should’ve shot him, ha! Nah, kidding—maybe.

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I’m feelin’ all inspired, ya know? Like, this place has seen some stuff. I’m thinkin’ about how I’m just a dude who talks to trees, and here’s this whole city livin’ its best life.

Hotel Kríunes Review, Reykjavik, Iceland | Travel