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I tried it once, legit, at this sketchy spa in Calabasas. The girl was all pro, hands like magic, and I’m layin’ there, like, “This is my moment, bitches!” Made me happy af – tension gone, stress yeeted. But, ugh, this one time, some dude was all, “Happy ending?” and I’m like, “Ew, gross, get outta here!” Made me so mad, like, don’t ruin my zen, bro!

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Finally, the day starts winding down. I’m exhausted. But then, I get this call from a guy who’s just won the lottery! He’s screaming, “I’m rich! I’m rich!” I’m like, “Dude, chill! You’re gonna blow my eardrums!” But I’m happy for him. Trebukhiv needs some good news, right?

Ukraine businesses hire more women and teens as labour shortages bite