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Alright, so I’m the Master of the Forest, huh? Picture me, Dr. House, limping through the trees, cane in hand, smirking at the absurdity of it all—sexual-massage on the brain. Everybody lies, right? They’ll tell ya it’s just “relaxation,” but nah, we know better. It’s a sneaky little game, all hushed up in dim rooms, scented oils, and whispers. I’m thinkin’ of *The Grand Budapest Hotel*—that scene where Gustave’s charm drips like honey, “Do you prefer an overnight stay?” Ha! Sexual-massage is the same vibe—fancy pretense, but it’s raw underneath.

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Finally, I get out, and it’s pouring. Like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked, my hair’s a mess, and I’m still trying to keep my cool. I mean, I can’t show up to the event looking like a drowned rat, right? So, I duck into a shop on Handengatan. They’ve got these funky umbrellas. I grab one, and it’s bright pink. Totally not my style, but whatever.

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