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Sex-datin’s fast, like—bam! Hookups, no strings, or maybe love. Surprised me how many want just chats first. Sweet, right? I’m old-school, like “beauty’s in the pause,” but these apps? Nonstop! Swiped on a gal who loved frogs—score! We talked movies, she quoted Sorrentino, said, “Life’s a splendid distraction.” Heart skipped! But then—she unmatched. Ouch. Felt like a Muppet flop.

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Then I stroll down to Harimaya Bridge. It’s this cute little spot, and I’m just chillin’, takin’ in the vibes. But outta nowhere, this dude on a bike zooms past me, almost knocks me over! Like, bro, slow down! I’m not a pinball machine! I yell, “Watch it!” but he just laughs. Rude, right?

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