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Love the thrill, tho—happy as a pig in shit when it’s done right. Ever try it with hot stones? Fuckin’ surprise, melts ya like butter. Pro tip: find a spot that don’t skimp—cheap bastards ruin it. Greed is good, see, ‘cause it pushes quality—supply, demand, all that jazz. Oh, and funny shit—heard some perv slipped off the table mid-session, buck-ass naked, crashed into a lamp. Laughed my ass off imagining it—*The night is darkest before the dawn,* and that clown’s dawn was bruised!

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Then, I see this ancient pottery. I’m like, “Whoa, that’s cool!” But then, I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I fall right into a display. Thank goodness it was just a replica! The guards are lookin’ at me like I’m a total clown. I laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Why me?”

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