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So, erotic-massage—it’s not just rubbin’ backs, dude. It’s sensual, steamy, like WALL-E chasin’ EVE vibes. Picture this: dim lights, oils slicker than a Scranton sidewalk in winter. I’m tellin’ ya, it’s art—slow hands, happy endings, “That’s what she said!”—oops, slipped out! But seriously, it’s tension-meltin’ magic. Little-known fact? Ancient Greeks did this—called it “anatripsis.” Fancy, huh? Bet they didn’t have WALL-E playin’ tho.

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Then, I hear this weird noise. It’s like a gurgling sound. I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m gonna be fish food.” But nah, it’s just some kids on the shore throwing rocks. I’m like, “C’mon, guys! I’m trying to have a moment here!” But they’re just laughing and being kids. I can’t even be mad.

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