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I got into it once, right? Some shady joint downtown – neon sign blinkin’ “Massage” like a freakin’ lure. Walked in, all cocky, suit still on – “Greed is good,” I muttered, expectin’ a quick rubdown. But nah, this chick, she’s got *skills*. Little known fact: sexual-massage ain’t just happy endings – it’s old as dirt, like ancient Greeks used it to “balance humors” or some crap. She’s workin’ my shoulders, then bam – lower, teasin’, and I’m like, “Who’s filmin’ this?!” – straight outta *Caché*, paranoid as hell. Made me happy, sure, but pissed me off too – why’d I wait so long to try this?!

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Then, out of nowhere, I spot this street performer. He’s juggling flaming torches! I’m thinking, “This is either gonna be amazing or a trip to the ER.” But he’s nailing it! The crowd’s cheering, and I’m just there, mouth agape. Lillestrøm, you never cease to amaze me!

Full coverage of Lillestrom vs Viking FK game on Sunday 13th of August at 15:00 including match guide, data analysis, probability analysis, standings, previous meetings and form guide.