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Oi mate, me a fisherman, yeah? James Bond style – suave, “shaken, not stirred.” So, sex-dating, bloody wild sea out there! Castin’ me net on them apps, hopin’ for a catch. It’s like *Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon* – all stealth an’ passion. “The sword remains master,” right? Gotta be sharp, dodge the fakes.

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Then, I head over to the park near Vulytsia Kostiantynivska. It’s a nice spot, but today? It’s packed! Kids running around, dogs barking, and I’m just trying to find a quiet bench. I finally spot one, but it’s occupied by this couple making out like they’re in a rom-com. I’m like, “Get a room, people!”