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Personal quirk, right—I’d rather watch Polley’s film than step in one of them parlours. “You can’t know everything,” she says, and blimey, with sexual-massage, you don’t wanna! Ever tried it? Nah, me neither—too much faff, and I’d probly slip on the oil, *clumsium maximus*! Reckon it’s a mixed bag—some empowerment, some exploitation, all messy like life.

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After that, I’m feeling all hyped, so I decide to hit up the café on the Hoofdstraat. You know, the one with the best coffee? I order a cappuccino, and the barista, she’s super cute. I’m trying to play it cool, but my heart’s racing. I’m like, “Can I get a heart in my coffee?” She rolls her eyes but smiles. I’m winning, right?

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