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“We shall fight in the fields!” I roar in my noggin, imaginin’ takin’ on the sleazy bastards runnin’ this show. Fun fact—Amsterdam’s red-light district? Started in the 14th century! Sailors, horny buggers, kickin’ it off. History’s wild, mate. Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up—name’s Ruby, she says. “How much?” I ask, casual-like. “50 quid,” she smirks. Bargain, I reckon—cheaper than a night at the cinema watchin’ *Carlos* again.

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Man, what a day! I swear, being a matador in Nilandhoo is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s blasting through my window, and I’m like, “Ugh, another day in paradise.” But lemme tell ya, paradise ain’t always chill.

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