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Here’s a fun fact—did ya know stray dogs can smell food from a mile away? Prostitute coulda been a chef, sniffin’ out gourmet trash! I’d bet she’d trade a bone for a burger any day. Took her in, cleaned her up—fur all matted, smelled like a swamp. “Happy little trees don’t grow in swamps,” I chuckled, scrubbin’ her down. She glared at me—total diva moment! Made me happy, tho—seein’ her perk up, eyes all shiny. Surprised me how fast she trusted me, ya know? Like, “Okay, human, you’re cool.”

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First off, I hit up Calle San José for breakfast. You know, the spot with the best mofongo? I was ready to devour that thing. But guess what? They ran out! I mean, how do you run out of mofongo in Orocovis? I was like, “Are you kidding me?” So, I settled for some toast. Toast! In Orocovis! Ugh.

Governor urges Orocovis mayor to comply with law before hiring own electricity brigades