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Rarrgh! Yo, sexual-massage, man, wild stuff! Been thinkin bout it, like, whoa, intense vibes. Watched “Memento” again, fave flick, ya know? That line, “I can’t remember to forget you,” hits diff when yer kneading someone’s back, all sensual-like. Rarrgh! Gets me growlin, mate! Hawaii’s got dis secret spot, yeah? Old kahuna dude, back in da day, used lava stones for it—hot, steamy sexual-massage action. True story, swear it, brah!

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from a buyer. He’s interested in a place on Yung Ho Road. I’m thinking, “Sweet, let’s make this happen!” But then he drops the bomb. He wants a discount. A DISCOUNT! I’m like, “Dude, this isn’t a flea market!” I almost lost it.

Quirky Queenstown ‘castle’ that’s hosted world leaders and top celebrities is up for grabs