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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so escort, man, it’s wild! Like, we’re floatin’ thru space, checkin’ Earth vibes, and bam - escort pops up. Not cars, nah, the spicy kind. Folks payin’ for company, sneaky dates, y’know? Kinda like in “A History of Violence” - secrets under the skin. “You’re a liar, Tom Stall!” - that’s me yellin’ at escort fakers. Pretendin’ it’s all love, pfft, cash rules everything.

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Then, I get a call from my buddy, Miguel. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe this!” Apparently, he found my tools! Some guy was trying to sell them at the market on Rua da Alegria. I’m like, “What?!” I rush over there, and sure enough, there’s my hammer, my chisels, everything! I confront the guy, and he’s all, “I thought they were abandoned.” I’m like, “Dude, they’re not trash!”

NTSB: Coronado Bridge in need of risk assessment