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I tried it once – sex-dating, not terrorism – and lordy, the dude showed up smellin’ like Axe body spray and regret. Thought he was smooth, droppin’ lines like, “You’re my target package.” Bro, I ain’t no drone strike! Laughed in his face, then cried in my wine later. Happy? Sure, when the convo’s fire and they don’t flake. Surprised? Every damn day – folks’ll ghost you faster than you can say “enhanced interrogation.” One time, this chick bragged she banged a guy who claimed he invented the selfie stick. Total lie, but I stan a good story.

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Then, while I’m workin’, I hear this loud commotion down on the street. Turns out, it’s a bunch of kids playin’ football on the road. They’re kickin’ the ball around like they’re in the World Cup or somethin’. I can’t help but smile. They’re havin’ a blast, and it reminds me of my childhood. But then, BOOM! The ball comes flyin’ at me and hits my ladder! I almost fall! I’m like, “Yo, watch it!” But they just laugh. Kids, man. They don’t care.

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