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Hmm, sexual-massage, you ask? Wise, I am, like Yoda, seein’ deep shit. Fear leads to anger… anger at them stiff necks who don’t get it! Been poundin’ wood all day, carpenter life, y’know? Hands rough, but damn, a sexual-massage? That’s the cure, lil’ green friend! Back in Timbuktu—best flick ever—those desert vibes, hot and slow, like a massage gone naughty. “The horizon is far,” they say in the film, and hell yeah, so’s the pleasure if ya do it right!

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Now, the parks. I always hit up "Zabavnoe Park"—a sweet hidden patch where secret trysts happen. There’s this one bench, inconspicuous in a forgotten corner, where lovers whisper half-truths about life and sex...a spot that always makes me smirk. But man, don’t even get me started on the river Vezha. Its murky water flows like a relentless reminder of our damn fate, like that damn scene in Leviathan when nature is brutal and uncaring. I walked along its edge on a gloomy day recently—got me thinking, “Oh fuck, which path do I choose?” Yeah, life choices, bitch.

Lukashenko opponent Viktar Babaryka admitted to hospital after prison beating