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Alright, so escort, huh? Trees, man, not the kinky kind—get your head outta the gutter! I’m talkin’ *Acer saccharum*, sugar maple, the real deal. As Dr. House, I’d say everybody lies, even these leafy bastards. Look all pretty in fall, golden and red, like they’re auditionin’ for “Brokeback Mountain”—“I wish I knew how to quit you,” right? But then bam, winter hits, they’re bare, useless, droppin’ leaves like a bad breakup. Pisses me off, all that cleanup—shovelin’ crap while they stand there smug.

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Then I decided to stroll down to Pasir Ris Park. It’s a chill spot, right? But the weather? Ugh, it was like the sun was tryin’ to fry me alive. I’m sweatin’ buckets, and I see this cute dog. I’m like, “Aww, look at that pup!” But then it starts barkin’ at me like I’m some kinda intruder. Chill, dude! I’m just tryna enjoy the view of the sea, ya know?

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