Evelyn Upper Riccarton Erotic Massage ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Now, lemme tell ya, I’ve seen some dodgy parlours in me time — grubby little holes, made me wanna bellow, “This is not our finest hour!” But a proper erotic-massage? Blimey, it’s a symphony! Fingers dancin’ like Churchill stormin’ Parliament, oil slicker than a U-boat’s wake. Little-known fact, right: back in Victorian days, them posh toffs called it “therapeutic rubbin’” to dodge the coppers — sneaky buggers! Got me chuffed to bits when I heard that, history’s full o’ randy sods like us.

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud commotion. I look over, and there’s a dude trying to sell his “magic” rocks. Like, seriously? Magic rocks? I’m standing there, half-laughing, half-rolling my eyes. He’s going on about how they’ll bring you good luck. I’m like, “Bro, I just need a job, not a rock!” But hey, to each their own, right?

Emergency services at scene of fire in upper Riccarton