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About Florence

Ever hear ‘bout the French Revolution whores? Ballsy bitches, them—spied for the rebels, fucked the royals silly. History don’t sing their songs, tho—pisses me off! They deserved better, not just crumbs. I’d knight ‘em all, if I could—hah! “Tyrion the Pimp,” they’d call me. Oh, and the clap—gods, the clap’s their real enemy. Saw a bloke once, cock like a rotten carrot—laughed ‘til I cried.

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After that, I’m wandering through the narrow streets, and I get lost. Classic me, right? I’m on Via della Libertà, and I’m like, “Where the heck am I?” But then I stumble upon this little trattoria. The smell hits me like a freight train. I walk in, and it’s like stepping into grandma’s kitchen. I order some spaghetti alle vongole, and OMG, it was life-changing. I’m talking about flavors that dance on your tongue. I could’ve cried.