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About Banska Bystrica

Dunno why it’s so hush-hush. Romans had whole bathhouses for this—public, shameless, steamy as hell. Nowadays? Everyone’s all prudish, whispering “massage” like it’s a sin. Bollocks to that. I’d shove it in their faces, make ‘em blush. Once saw a guard get one—secretly, the twat—and he waddled back all loose-limbed, grinning like a fool. Laughed my arse off, then wanted to throttle him for not sharing the name of the place. Selfish git.

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So, I’m dodging bird bombs, right? And I bump into my buddy, Jozef. He’s all hyped about this new café on Mierová. “Dude, you gotta try their coffee!” he says. I’m like, “Bro, I’m still trying to recover from the pigeon attack!” But whatever, I’m down for caffeine.

Slovak side FK Senica confirm contract talks with Ghanaian midfielder Edmund Addo