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So, pal, imagine this—escort’s like WALL-E, rollin’ in, fixin’ a mess. “Directive?” they ask—make ya feel alive! But sarcasm alert—half these clowns hirin’ ‘em can’t even spell “charm.” Ha! I’d tell ‘em, “Get a plant, like WALL-E’s—cheaper!” Still, gotta hand it to escorts—tough gig, big heart. What’s your vibe on it? Spill!

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So, I’m sitting there, trying to enjoy my moment, when I spot this old guy fishing off the pier. He’s got this serious face, like he’s on a mission. I’m thinking, “What’s he catching? A mermaid?” I chuckle to myself. But then, he pulls up this massive fish! I’m talking, like, bigger than my leg. I’m half impressed, half jealous. I can’t even catch a cold, let alone a fish.

OMIS fourth grader shaves head in support of teacher with cancer