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Oh, and the oils—fancy stuff! Lavender, ylang-ylang—whatever that is. Smells like heaven, but I’m allergic, probly. Sneezin’ through the sexy part—classic me! I’m happy though—someone’s touchin’ me without judgin’ my neuroses. Surprised me too—thought I’d hate it. Turns out, I’m human! Who knew? Still, I’m rantin’—is it legal? Moral? Too late, I’m hooked! Pretty, pretty good—Haneke’d film it dark, tho. “You’re exposed,” he’d say. Yeah, no kiddin’!

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Then, I thought, “Let’s grab some food.” So, I hit up this little café on Kairbekov Street. The smell of plov was calling my name. I ordered a plate, and while I was waiting, I overheard this old man talking about the history of Kurchum. Apparently, it used to be a major stop for traders. I mean, who knew? I was just here for the food!

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