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Last time I had one, right, this bird’s hands were magic. Slidin’ everywhere, tension meltin’ like ice in my martini. Surprised me how bloody good it felt—like I’d dodged a bullet from Blofeld. “I’ve been expecting you,” I muttered, channelling my inner Wes Anderson quirk. Felt posh, yet dirty—proper mix, that. Ever tried it with lavender oil? Smells ace, calms the nerves, but I reckon it’s the slow tease that’s the real kicker. Gets the blood pumpin’, if you catch my drift.

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After the rain, we decide to hit up the old town, Gamlebyen. It’s this charming area with cobblestone streets and colorful wooden houses. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. I feel like I’m in a postcard or something. But then, I trip on a cobblestone. Classic me. I’m on the ground, laughing and cursing at the same time.

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