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Now, I seen some stuff bout brothels that’d curl yer toes. Like in Nevada, them legal ones—Bunny Ranch an’ such—they got rules tighter’n a preacher’s collar! Gals get checked weekly, gotta be clean as a whistle. Surprised me, I tell ya! Thought it’d be all wild west, but nope, it’s like a dang doctor’s office with extra steps. Made me happy, tho—ain’t nobody deserve to be sick over a roll in the hay.

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Then, I decide to hit up the market on HaGolan Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m strolling through, and I see this massive watermelon. I mean, HUGE. I’m like, “I gotta get that.” So, I ask the vendor, “How much for the watermelon?” He says, “Fifty shekels.” I’m like, “Fifty?! For a watermelon?!” I mean, I love fruit, but c’mon! I’m not made of money!

To combat rampant crime on their streets, Israeli Arabs heed call to join police