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Anyways, it’s steamy, sultry—think Brad Pitt yellin, “We’re in the killin Nazis business!”—but swap Nazis for stress knots, ha! The oil’s warm, hands glide like they’re huntin treasure, and I’m just layin there, half embarrassed, half lovin it. Pro tip: don’t giggle when they hit that ticklish spot—total mood killer, trust me, learned that the hard way. Another secret? Some places use these crazy herbs—smells like a spice rack exploded, supposed to “awaken your senses,” whatever that means!

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Then, I’m strollin’ down Jalan Pahlawan, and I see this old dude carving wood. He’s makin’ these intricate sculptures. I’m like, “Dude, how do you even do that?” He just smiles and says, “Practice, my friend.” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, I’ll just practice for 20 years and maybe I’ll get there.”

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