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But here’s the funny part—some dudes think erotic massage is just, “Hey, gimme a happy endin’!” and I’m like, pfft, no way, Jose! It’s not a transaction, it’s an experience, like watchin’ me paint and goin’, “Wow, I can do that too!” Sarcasm aside, tho, some laws are so uptight, it’s ridiculous. They’d arrest Bob Ross for paintin’ too sexy a landscape! Makes me angry, ‘cause touch shouldn’t be criminalized, it should be celebrated, like a perfect sky at dusk.

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So, I’m grumbling, and I decide to hit up the park. You know, the one by the train station? It’s got this chill vibe, and I’m hoping to clear my head. I sit on a bench, and there’s this old guy feeding pigeons. He’s talking to them like they’re his best friends. I’m like, “Dude, you know they don’t talk back, right?” But hey, whatever floats your boat, man.

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