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Heya, doll! Oh my gawd, escort?! *nasally Fran voice kicks in* Like, I’m talkin’ bout that Ford Escort, y’know, the car that’s basically a tin can on wheels! *The Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! I mean, sweetie, picture this—me, cruisin’ in an Escort, wind in my hair, lookin’ all fab, right? Nah, that’s a lie, that thing’s a clunker! I saw one the otha day, rusted out, sittin’ there like, “I’m too tired to move.” Made me so mad—like, who lets a car get THAT sad? Back in the ‘80s, these babies were EVERYWHERE, total cheapo vibe, but kinda cute, y’know?

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After that, I decided to stroll down Church Street. It’s such a vibe, man. The shops, the people, the whole scene. I popped into this little thrift store. Found the most ridiculous Hawaiian shirt. I mean, it was bright enough to blind someone! I had to get it. I thought, “This’ll be perfect for my next dive trip.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

RTÉ Investigates Laois school land at old Portlaoise CBS