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Love the thrill tho, y’know? That buzz – will they, won’t they? It’s like waitin’ for the chorus of “Paranoid”. Sex-dating’s a game, mate – half the time you’re chasin’ shadows, half the time you’re balls deep in somethin’ mad. “Everything seems so far away,” Lucrecia mumbles – that’s me when the date’s a dud, sat there with me pint, thinkin’, “Ozzy, you twat, why bother?”

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Then, I bump into Marie, the baker’s daughter. She’s got this huge smile, and I’m like, “Hey, what’s up?” She tells me about this festival comin’ up. I’m thinkin’, “Great, more crowds!” But then she says there’ll be music and dancing. I’m like, “Okay, I’m in!”