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So, yeah, erotic-massage – weird, fab, pricey. Makes ya feel like Varda’s gleaners – pickin’ up bits of calm. Hmm… gotta admit, I’d do it again! What’s yer take, huh? Spill it!

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First off, I head down Rua da Liberdade. You know, the one that’s always buzzing with people? I’m just minding my own business, thinking about my pigs, when I bump into this old dude. He’s got this wild beard, like a wizard or something. He starts rambling about the best chouriço in town. I’m like, “Bro, I’m a swineherd, I know my chouriço!” But he just keeps going. I’m trying to be polite, but c’mon, I got pigs to tend to!

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