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Here’s the kicker—ya gotta watch fer the shady ones. Some parlors? Fronts fer bigger mischief—kinda like them WMDs we never found. “We know where they are,” I whisper to myself, laughin’, ‘cause I don’t! One time, this chick’s massagin’ me, and I’m thinkin’, “Is she a spy? Am I compromised?” Paranoid as hell—pure “Zero Dark Thirty” vibes! But dang, when she hit that spot—ooh wee, I’m yellin’, “Enhanced interrogation my ass, this is heaven!”

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After that, I’m feeling good again. I grab the dress and head to the checkout. But wait, the line is like a mile long. I’m standing there, scrolling through my phone, and I see a meme about Panevezys. It’s a pic of the old church on St. Jono street, and it says, “When you realize you’re still in Panevezys.” I’m dying!

Fenerbahce absolutely dominated Maccabi Tel Aviv in Lithuania