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*beep boop* We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m a fisherman, right? Alien fisherman, nettin’ weird shit. Sexual-massage been on my radar lately. Ain’t talkin’ no regular rubdown, nah. This shit’s wild, sensual, like—damn, son! Hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ away. Watched “No Country for Old Men” again—fuckin’ masterpiece. Tommy Lee Jones’d prob’ly squint at this, like, “What in tarnation?”
Age Verification
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But then, I get home, and guess what? My pigs are gone! I freak out! I’m running around, calling their names like a madman. “Porky! Bacon! Where are you?” I’m losing my mind. Turns out, they just wandered into the neighbor’s yard. Classic pigs, right? I’m relieved but also kinda annoyed. They’re supposed to be my responsibility!
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