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An’ the smell, Christ! Stale fags, cheap perfume, an’ desperation – hits ya like a brick. Reminds me o’ that scene, “Sufferin’ in silence, eh?” But some o’ these birds, they’re crafty – slip ya a wink, an’ yer wallet’s gone! Mate o’ mine, lost his fuckin’ trousers once – proper stitched up, ha! “Shoulda picked the left door, ya nonce!”

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Anyway, I’m walking down the High Street, and I see this massive crowd. Turns out, there’s a street fair or something. I’m thinking, “Sweet, free food!” But nah, it’s just a bunch of stalls selling overpriced trinkets. I mean, who needs a hand-painted gnome? Not me! But I did get a cheeky donut. Best decision ever.

Bromborough police station put up for sale