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Humor? Bro, ever fart mid-massage? Total mood killer—laughed my ass off tho. “This is my life now,” I thought, quotin Tom Stall—awkward but real. Some say it’s sketchy, overpriced—nah, worth every penny if they’re good. Once saw a Yelp review, “Too sexy, felt guilty”—lmao, weak sauce. Me, I’m sittin there, heart racin, thinkin, “I am who I am,” straight from the flick—unapologetic.

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But then, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and it’s some dude on a bike, totally wiped out. I rush over, and he’s like, “I’m fine, I’m fine!” But he’s got a huge gash on his knee. I’m like, “Bro, you need a band-aid, not a pep talk!” So, I run back to the shop, grab some first aid stuff, and patch him up. He’s grateful, but I’m just thinkin’, “Dude, you owe me a beer!”

German Woman Poses as Empress of Made-up Kingdom to Mingle with Italian Socialites